Secure - Erin and Jay after S3 Finale
by Chicagopdfanatic21
Summary: Erin shows up at Jays door after Justin's death seeking comfort, but finds trouble opening up to him.


Erin Lindsay sat on her couch, clothes still damp from the night's previous events, closely listening to the sounds of the storm. The rain continued to pour, dripping from the gutters unto her windowsill. _Drip, Drip, Drop._ She hadn't yet changed, still bothered the actions of her boss Hank Voight. It was nearly impossible for her to comprehend why Hank had to go after Justin's killer like that. If there was one thing she didn't want it was for her boss, and father figure to go down trying to protect his own family; and she knew the only way for him to avoid that was with her help.

After about thirty minutes of just listening to the rain fall in the silence of her dark, lonely, apartment she decided she couldn't take it anymore. She had to do something to get her mind off Hank Voight. She tried watching a movie, doing a puzzle, even playing candy crush on her phone, but her mind always wandered off. Since none of that worked she decided to just go to bed.

She changed into a big t-shirt and crawled under her covers in hopes to find some amount of warmth and comfort. But there was none. She had gotten too used to spending the nights with Jay, and the warmth he provided whenever they were snuggled close. She laid still for a while, her mind fixated on early tonight. Hanks voice replayed in her head. _"Get back in your car Erin."_ Erin couldn't help but think how things could have been different. How Hank didn't have to do this.

No longer could she subside her emotions as tears once again started to fall. She felt so powerless, so weak. All she wanted way for Jay to hold her close and reassure her that everything was going to be fine. Still laying still she wrestled with the thought of going over to his place, but continuously told herself that he'd be asleep and that she shouldn't bother him. She told herself that only as an excuse because she hated feeling vulnerable. But in this moment, nothing could be worse than what she was feeling right now.

 _Fuck it._ She thought putting all her anxious thoughts aside as she pulled on a pair of sweatpants and headed for the door.

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Jay sat on his couch watching the rerun of the game, although not really paying attention. He still couldn't wrap his head around the events of tonight. _Why did Hank send the team to the wrong address? And why had Erin abruptly hung up on him?_ He just kept thinking about how Erin's phone went straight to voicemail after he'd tried to reconnect after work, which only concerned him more. He desperately wanted to know what went on between Hank and Erin tonight, but didn't want to overstep any boundaries by going over to Erin's place tonight uninvited. He thought that if she was ready to talk about it with him then she'd already be sitting on the couch next to him. But instead of doing anything he just remained on the couch racking his brain for any type of answer as he unexpectedly heard a small knock on the door.

He slowly got up off the couch and swung open the door.

"Erin." He said, noticing her glazed over eyes from crying, and her hands deep into her pockets. He was happy to see his girlfriend standing in front of him, but his heart still hurt seeing Erin in such noticeable pain.

She looked up at him before gathering herself to speak. "Um, I just... I was…" a lump formed in her throat, making it hard to speak, and her eyes became watery. She didn't realize how hard this would be. "Actually... never mind" she said quietly, before turning to walk away.

"Erin." Jay said calmly running down the hall after her. "Er wait" he said again, pulling her arm back so they're standing face to face, using his thumb to wipe the recently shed tear off her cheek. He took a small step forward, making the distance between them even smaller. He reached down to grab her hands giving her a slight sense of comfort. "Erin, I know today was a rough day for you and I can tell that something is on your mind so just know that if you want to talk, I'm here. I always will be, so please; talk to me."

Jay was willing to do anything if it meant helping his partner, his best friend, and his girlfriend Erin Lindsay; even at 1 a.m. when they both should be sleeping.

Erin stared at the ground, letting a tear hit the carpet, before looking back up at Jay. She wanted to open up, but it was hard. She was never good at it; she had always preferred to run away from situations like this. But this time she couldn't. Jay wouldn't let her.

She closed her eyes and took a vast deep breath. "I want to talk to you. I do" she spoke nervously, drying her eyes with her sleeve, "but it's hard, it's always been hard, everyone that I really care about gets hurt. And you..." her voice became shaky "I don't want you to get hurt" She paused trying not to sound unstable. After a small silence, she spoke again. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have bothered you this late." She stated looking straight to the ground trying to hide her vulnerability. At this point she didn't know whether to walk away or wait and face whatever comes next. Her mind said go, but he heart wanted to stay in his presence where she always felt safe and comforted.

Despite her efforts, Jay had noticed the shakiness in her voice and could tell that she was trying to control the overwhelming emotions that flooded through her. He then reached up and squeezed her arm and placed his hand amongst her cheek, giving her enough comfort to steady her breathing and look him back in the eyes. They stood there for a moment just staring at each other, both engulfed in a sea of emotions.

"You, you have such a big heart" he spoke, breaking the silence "and I love that about you. But sometimes you need to open up that pretty little heart of yours and let people help you. And if that means talking about what's bothering you then I'm right here, no matter what. But for now if you're not ready just know I'll be here patiently waiting. I'm never going to leave you, Erin Lindsay." He finished pulling her into his tight embrace.

With Jays arms wrapped tightly around her, she felt secure, and for that small moment she was able to forget about the previous events of the night. Although she hoped that one day, one day soon, she could get past her mental block and let herself open up to him more, she owed him that. But she knew that until that day he would always be by her side, and that was enough for now.

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